To Brain Drain or Not to Brain Drain?

For the past few months I have been contemplating whether or not to work abroad. I've had this feeling of "am I going to spend my whole life here?" (This goes back to the feeling of restlessness I mentioned in a previous post). I have thought about working in the US after writing a paper on the issue of Brain Drain but a recent conversation with my friend Andrea has sparked my interest in working in Dubai. The financial rewards are oustanding and very attractive since I am going to be left with a substantial student loan and a condo to pay for. The contracts are for 2 or 3 years and since my condo won't be ready for two years maybe it's a good idea. This way I can return home being debt free and with a good deal of money saved up for furher downpayment on the condo or to get a new whip! At the same time it affords me the opportunity to travel and see other parts of the world.

The only downside is that I will be leaving my friends and family behind. Hmmm...So many decisions...

Here are a couple of pics....


The Burj Al Arab hotel in Dubai



Federer serving against Agassi atop the helo pad at the Burj Al Arab


Saw "Hitch" last night and I must say it was entertaining. Hitch can kick some game but it also helps that he has a ton of cash (and it's a movie!) haha. The main lesson to be learned is that it is the combination of confidence and being yourself that leads to success with the opposite sex.

If your looking for some music I suggest you check out DJ Dangermouse. This is the guy who gave us "The Grey Album".

Song of the Post: "M.I.A" Foo Fighters

The Ultimate Endorsement!

So Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow appeared on the Oprah show on February 11th and the astounding response from that appearance and Oprah's challenge to her viewers to beat the sales record for Lance's Live Strong wrist bands is dumbfounding. The Lance Armstrong Foundation broke their single day sales record by three times the previous amount. Amazing! Just goes to show that the number one endorser of products is Oprah. Forget pro athletes, not even the likes of Michael Jordan can compete with the sway Oprah Winfrey holds with the public.

I have included a link to the LAF on the sidebar of my blog and I encourage you to donate anything you can. The wristbands are a buck a piece and the proceeds go to cancer research.

I visited my karate class for the first time since my injury and I have to say I really miss it. Just watching everyone was fun...I was giving pointers to the lower belts...u can observe a lot by just sitting back. My Sensei was nice enough to agree to give me written assignments to keep the mental aspect of the art up to par. Master Funakoshi's 11th precept was to keep your karate skills from growing cold and I fully intend to keep it in check.



Gichin Funakoshi



Song of the Post: "Shadowboxin'" GZA

Just Call Me "Gimpy"...

I'm feeling the effects of being dependent on other people. I don't like it. I am extremely grateful to those who have helped me out with rides and such. I just can't stand the feeling of wanting to go somewhere and not being able to do it because I can't drive. I like to think of myself as being an independent person and now that I have to depend on others to do trivial things it pains me.

Enough of that. I don't have much to write about today but felt the need to ramble about something. Hmmmmmm..... Ok let's see what pops into my head.

Happy Birthday Andrea....WOOOOT! wOOOOOT! Welcome to the quarter century mark homie. We be hitting the movies later this week (Do you mind driving? LOL See what I mean!)

Just want to wish my cousin DEBBIE a safe and relaxing trip. HAHAHAHA! Now I have mentioned your name and the entire world can know about your existence hehe.

I worry about my friend Ayland. I feel the guy is in a really rough spot in life. I feel our job is sucking the life from his soul. Taking a page from my buddy Chris' blog....MAN UP DUDE! Face the fact that our job sucks and move on. Either quit or take work for what it is... WORK! Don't be afraid to try new things get out and do things, meet new people. You're closing yourself off to the world and that's not healthy. I think you need to spend less time with the "green dragon" and more time with people. (No! We are not going outside! LOL) Dude you get off at 5 give me a shout man this is my reading week.

Maybe the weather plays a part in our depressing state. This in addition to our stupid North American lifestyle is killing us.

In short, we are meant for more than this....


Song of the Post: "Meant to Live" by Switchfoot

Adding a little sunshine to everyone's day ....


The Sea Park in Hawai'i 


The view of Waikiki from atop Diamond Head Volcano 

Where's My Motivation?

It is the Friday before reading week and I HAD a paper due yesterday. What the hell is wrong with me? I have done all the readings, I have several pages of notes to draw upon for my insightful ramblings of Kierkegaard's justification of Abraham's ethical paradox in his willingness to sacrifice Isaac. Sheesh! I know but the thing is that I find the topic pretty interesting. I may be one of the best procrastinators in the world. I just don't have the drive anymore. I'm on the doorstep to the culmination of my undergrad and I can smell the paper upon which my degree will be printed.

My thesis advisor handed back my research proposal (a resubmission) and I received a 65%. Man this guy has no mercy. A friend of mine is in my class and he got the same grade and he happens to be one of the most brilliant people I know. I just hope that this prof doesn't shatter my dreams of graduation with some "I'm failing you for your own benefit" BS. I can't handle that.

In other news.....

I got my ipod yesterday and I can finally say that I know what all the hype is about now. Man this thing is awesome...i can fall asleep to music... wake up to music...do anything with music. I love it! The engineers over at Apple have done a great job. The slightest detail has been paid attention to down to the beautifully designed packaging.

So you see...with this new found toy to distract my focus I took the liberty of downloading some tunes from my "youth". Some of the greatest songs of the 90's and I must say "Music FUCKING ROCKED back then!" I've said it before and I'll say it again music today is so commercial sounding and lacks creativity that it's not worth the plastic is pressed on. I guess we've done ourselves in with the age of the mpeg layer 3. I guess record companies have to mass produce this crap in order to recoup the lost revenues from downloading of GOOD music". Maybe we are all guilty and not just the artists and record companies.

I miss the great music like Blind Melon, I Mother Earth(with Edwin), Rancid, sublime, STP, REM, Alice in Chains, NIN, heck even the Hip LOL! There are so many good bands from that decade maybe we are past the age of enlightenment when it comes to music (not to say the 90's were this) and we are heading into a downward spiral(allusion to NIN lol) of deevolution into the dark ages of crappy music. I have focused here on rock but the same can be said for Hip Hop with the exception of a select few artists.

We have become a critical mass of Pop worshipping lemmings blinded by consumerism. How sad.

This brings me to the critical point in my post...the song of the post of course...but what to choose? Hmmmm....

"Misery" Soul Asylum

Hope that was satisfactory...Maybe this is an opportunity for compiling a list of great songs of the 90's!!!! email me with your contributions and I'll post the list. WOOT!

The First Insight and the Philosophy of Soren Kierkegaard.

Firstly, It's amazing how much a dislocated kneecap can increase the amount of traffic on your blog. LOL Thank you all for your concern or for your random interest in repugnant pictures of my anatomy. I appreciate it.

As if I didn't have enough reading to do with my course work, I decided to also start reading "The Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield. For those of you that who haven't read it yet, the book is about a manuscript that is found in Peru that tells of a movement by humanity towards a completely spiritual culture through a series of nine insights that are experienced sequentially.

The first insight is a state of restlessness where we don't know what we are looking for out of life. This is definitely how I feel and encompasses the feeling of My Quarter Life Crisis. Soren Kierkegaard mentions something similar in his works. Kierkegaard discusses different forms of despair that people go through. A feeling of anxiety associated with the need to be a "self with something", meaning self with a nice house, self with a great wife, self with a great job, etc. The realization that we have to make is that this is a form of "floating anxiety" where once one of our desires is satiated the anxiety floats to another, hence, we suffer this sense of despair.

Despair can be categorized as passive and active. I won't go into the specifics but the key is that there are three stages to an individual's life, according to Kierkegaard, the aesthetic, the ethical, and the religious. Moving through these stages can only be achieved by experiencing active despair.

I feel that my commitment to exploring my spiritual side is progressing. I very well may be moving through Kierkegaard stages or through the insights mentioned in "The Celestine Prophecy". I discovered this organization through a friend's website called The Meeting House. Its moto is the church for those who aren't into church. I happened to browse the website and I am intrigued by the premise. I just may check it out.

The one thing I can't handle is the fact that all the things that I used to have in my daily life as stress relievers have gone away. Karate and hitting the gym were great ways to let off steam and with this knee injury I'm sitting on the bench. Time to find an alternative I'm open to suggestions.



My recovery seems to be progressing. My knee feels better although it is still very tender and bruised. I have to keep my knee immobilizer on for another two weeks at which point I will have another xray taken and may switch to a different brace, offer ing increased mobility. I'll keep everyone posted.

In the meantime I recommend that you read "The Celestine Prophecy" if you haven't already.


Song of the Post: "God of Wine" by Third Eye Blind

The Dawn of my Convalescence...

So I was at karate class this evening and I was sparring with a black belt. He caught my kick (I gotta work on that) and lifted my leg. The thing is he lifted too high so my planted foot gave out and my body went to the floor. I did a break fall and landed okay but the thing is he still had a hold of my leg and it twisted in mid air. Upon landing I felt some of the worst pain of my life. I sat up and grabbed my knee....OMFG my patella(kneecap) was on the side of my knee. I calmly told my sensei that I had dislocated my patella. The other sensei asked if I was sure ummmrm...judging by it being on the side of my leg....I'm pretty sure LOL! So all of a sudden I realize that the rest of the class is in shock and just staring so sensei dismisses everyone and I'm left with all these girls surrounding me with ice and making sure I'm okay. Bonus! So they stabilize my leg and we wait for the paramedics. My sensei sees them coming and says "I think your going to be in good hands." ....WOOOT was I ever! The lord graced me with the hottest paramedic I had ever seen! DOUBLE BONUS! Turns out she went to my university and was a former bartender and likes playing poker. Ok can we have anything else in common? All the paramedics treated me very well and I thank them all.

So I got to the hospital and of course had to wait for awhile and then was taken to xray and back to waiting for a doctor. After all this time in pain the doctor comes and looks at my knee and says "Oh the nurse could have reset this" He pops it back into place and with the exception of a sharp pain followed by a wave of sudden relief I felt nothing. So I spent 4 hrs in pain needlessly? Man I should have popped it back myself it was easy. Oh well quite the experience. I am now in a knee immobilizer and walk with crutches. I have to go for a follow up on Sunday so we'll see what the prognosis is.

I want to thank Sensei Drew and Sensei Sean for their concern. I would like to also thank Tracy and Sam for helping me be as comfortable as possible. Most of all I would like to thank Sharon for sticking with me and lugging my stuff and keeping company in the ER. You're the best!

Here are some pics...I must warn you its a little graphic!








Normal Kneecap 





Dislocated kneecap 



Song of the Post: "Pain" by Jimmy Eat World

Chasing Riz.

I recently watched the Kevin Smith movie "Chasing Amy" and found it to be one of the best movies I have ever watched. I am not a huge fan of Kevin Smith but I do like some of his work ("Dogma" was brilliant in my opinion). The plot of the movie is based on the character of Holden who falls hopelessly in love at first sight with this girl Alyssa only to find out that she is gay. They are the best of friends and compliment each other so deeply that when Holden expresses his love for Alyssa she too realizes that Holden was the person she was looking for. In the end (I hate to ruin it for you all but the culmination of the plot plays a poignient role in my post), Holden's best friend turns out to be a homosexual in denial and there is a struggle for Holden between Alyssa and Bankey. The point is that they come to a point where Alyssa realizes that the relationship can't go on despite her undying love for Holden. Holden, despite his love for Alyssa, could not get over the issue of her past and because of this two very compatible people were doomed to be apart.

Although, the circumstances behind Holden's and Alyssa's relationship were different, I can't help but draw a parallel between myself and Riz. I feel love between us but the obstacle is too great. So tonight she and I have come to the same point that Holden and Alyssa reached in Chasing Amy and have gone our seperate ways. I have gone through the stage of anger and wrote a horrible post only to delete it. It was nonetheless cathartic. At this point I feel only despair. A feeling of a deep loss of hope has overcome me. I will be honest with myself and admit that I knew what Riz's decision would be but the need to hear it come from her was paramount. The uncertainty of what love holds for me troubles my soul. I hope to overcome this...I need to still believe in love and that somewhere out there someone waits for me.

I have dreaded this moment for quite some time but felt it necessary. I hope to realize that I will be ok without you. For now I can only find solice in music and my own tears. My life has become a scene that keeps getting rewound and replayed. I NEED TO BE FREE! I am sorry.

You have impacted my life in ways unimaginable. You have shown me what love really is. You have been my best friend. You will forever be with me for the rest of my life. Every time I look at a beautiful building or pick up chop stix you'll be there in the background. I have no hate, no regrets.

In the end of Chasing Amy Holden sees Alyssa after a year of being apart and there are no hard feelings and both have found some sense of accomplishment in their lives. Maybe one day you and I can also be happy in each other's success and continue our friendship. Love you always.


"Only Hope" Switchfoot

"The Background" Third Eye Blind